For some time now El Gato and Co. have slowly been squeezing their contemptible “music” out onto an unsuspecting populace to virtually no fanfare or excitement of any kind.  One might argue that indeed El Gato is not so much “elusive” as he is “of no consequence to almost anyone”, but I decided to dig a little deeper.

I caught up to El Gato out behind the liquor store at which he is known to loiter for hours at a time. When I approached him, he was lying face down in a handicapped parking space and I feared he was dead. Upon further inspection it became clear that he was just taking a nap. I woke him up and introduced myself. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

EPB Press: Hey… hello? Oh good, are you awake?

El Gato: Mrrraoww.

EPBP: Hi there! I hope it’s ok if I ask you a few questions. I understand you have some material coming out soon and I wanted to find out a little more about the man behind the music.

EG: Meow. Meow meowmeow meow.

EPBP: Excellent! So let’s start with you telling us just a little bit about yourself. Where did you grow up?

EG: Meow meow meow purr purr meow meowmeowmeowmeow meow meow. Meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meowmeowmeowmeow purrrrrrrrrrrr. Meow meow meow!

EPBP: I see. That’s strange. So, are you a legal resident of the United States?

EG: Meow. Meowmeow meow.

EPBP: Ok, do you maybe not want me to include this part in the printed interview?

EG: Meow? Meow.

EPBP: Tell us about the new release. What are you the most excited about? How do you think your record will be received?

EG: Meow, meow meow meow purr purr meow meow, meowmeowmeow meow meow. Meow? Meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meowmeowmeow meow meow. Hiss hiss, meow meow purr. Mraooooooooooowwwww, meow meow purr meow hiss hiss meow. Meow?

EPBP: It sounds like you feel that your last release, “Funky Baby”, was unfairly received. Is that accurate?

EG: Meow! Meow meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow meow meow hiss hiss meow. Meow meow mraaaoooowwwwwww, hiss hiss meow meow meow meow purr purr. Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, purrrrrrrrrrrrr meowmeowmeow meow meow. Meow? Hiss hiss, meow meow. Meow, meowmeowmeowmeowmeow hiss hiss meow meow!

EPBP: That’s an interesting take.

EG: Meow meow meow. Mraooow?

EPBP: Ok.

EG: Meow meow meowmeowmeow hiss hiss meow.

EPBP: Moving on, who are your collaborators on the Executive Party Box Sessions? Who is making this stuff with you?

EG: Meow, meow meow meow hiss hiss meow meow meow meow, Tio Vibrisas meow meow meow mraaowwww meow purrrrrrrr purr meow. Hisssssss, meow Kolton James meow meow meow meow. Meow meow hiss hiss meow hiss hiss meow meow meow meow. Meow? Meow purr meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow meow meow hiss hiss meow. Meow, meow meow meow purr purrrr Jeremy Greene. Meow!

EPBP: I see, and these are people you’ve worked with before then?

EG: Meow meow, hiss hiss meow hiss meow. Meow meow meow meow meowmeowmeowmeow meow meow. Meow, meow meow meow meow. Meow meow hiss hiss meow hiss hiss meow meow Mechanical Bull, meow purr purr meow hiss hiss meow mraaoowwwww meow meow meowmeowmeow. Mraoowww, meow meow meow meow meow meow purrrrrrrrr meow meow meowmeowmeowmeow Tio Vibrisas meow meow hiss hiss Mechanical Bull meowmeowmeowmeowmeow hiss hiss meow. Meow, meow purr purr meow meow hiss hiss meow meow meow meow, Tio Vibrisas meow meow meow meow. Meow meow hiss hiss meow purr hiss hiss meow meow meow Goodness Gracious Me, Prieta, The Would-Be Train Robbers, Mondo Deco, meow purr purr meowmeow meow meow meow meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow hiss hiss mraaoowwwwwwww! Meow? Meow! Meow meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow meow meow hiss meow meow meow. Meow meow hiss hiss meow hiss hiss!

EPBP: Tell me more about Mechanical Bull. It sounds like you guys have a lot in the works.

EG: Meow! Meow meow hiss hiss meow hiss hiss meow meow Mechanical Bull meow purr purr meowmeowmeowmeow Tio Vibrisas meow meow hiss hiss Kolton James meow meow meow hiss hiss meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow purrrrrrrrr meow meow! Meow, purr purr meow meow hiss, The Would-Be Train Robbers, meow purr purr meowmeow meow meow! Meow meow, hiss hiss meow hiss meow purr purrrrrrrrr. Meow meow meow meow meowmeowmeowmeowmeow hiss hiss meow. Meow, meow purr purr meow meow The Would-Be Train Robbers, meowmeowmeowmeow meow meow. Meow, meow meow meow meow. Meow meowmeowmeowmeowmeow hiss hiss meow. Meow, meow purr purr meow meow meow mraaaoooowwwwwww, hiss hiss meow meow meow meow purr purr. Meow hiss!

EPBP: Fantastic! Well it certainly sounds like you guys are keeping plenty busy. Between the Executive Party Box Releases, The Would-Be Train Robbers’ show on December 11th, and what sounds like a fairly messy PR scandal involving that support group for disgraced Olympians, it looks like Mechanical Bull will have its hands full for quite some time. Is there anything else you would like to say to your fans out there?

EG: Meow. Meow hiss purr purr hiss meow. Purrrrrrr! Hiss, hiss hiss meowmeowmeowmoew. Purr hiss meow.

EPBP: Inspiring stuff. Well, thank you so much for your time Mr. Gato. It’s been a pleasure.

EG: Meow.


Immediately after the interview was over, El Gato wandered across the street and jumped over a fence into somebody’s backyard. The interview had almost left me with more questions than answers, but I knew two things for certain: 1) I was definitely going to attend the Would Be Train Robbers show on December 11th, and 2) I would be keeping a wary eye on The Executive Party Box and Mechanical Bull.

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